Prologue of the Youthful Version: Tao Yan, wishing to return to the past
A faint blush rapidly spread from her pristine neck, resembling red ink dropped into a pool of water, extending all the way to her ears. The girl's face bore a warm smile, filled with surprise and shyness. A series of expressions flashed by like quick cuts in a film, gone in an instant. Then, before anyone could react, she turned and ran away like a startled fawn, leaving behind a silhouette in white and a subtle, delicate fragrance of flowers in the air.
Class Seven is located in another teaching building, a structure from the 1950s, simple and sturdy, old and dim. Tao Yan sometimes unconsciously passes by, glancing at the girl in the fourth seat of the first group by the window, her smooth black hair flowing like water, resembling the clouds at the edge of the sky
In the empty expanse of the mind, as the melody flows gracefully, the figure of a girl gradually becomes clearer
This remarkably beautiful girl in white seems to be an angel walking on earth
Tao Yan boarded the train in Nanfang City, passing through Xiaolan and Hongshan. In less than forty minutes, he crossed half a province and arrived at his destination—Jiangcheng. As the train slowed down, the high-speed train gradually entered the station and came to a stop, prompting the passengers to stand up and organize their luggage. Tao Yan came to his senses and noticed a tall and beautiful woman beside him who was looking at him with great interest. He smiled and nodded in greeting, collected his thoughts, and disembarked from the platform as the announcement echoed.
The intercity light rail travels at a high speed, and the scenery outside the window rushes by
A yellowed, old lamp, time quietly lingers beside it
That year he was 16 years old
* * * * * * * *
That is the wild lily quietly blooming in the serene and secluded valley, as well as a ray of sunshine in the overcast weather, deeply engraved in the life of the陶砚 at the age of 16
To desire closeness yet be unable to attain it, only to feel melancholy
Another friend, Lu Yan, looked at the dazed Tao Yan and shook his head, saying: A fateful bond...
* * * * * * * * * * *
After successfully aligning with the organization, life becomes stable and prosperous, and the future is bright
He graduated from the Computer Science Department of Qian University in 2010. After graduation, he worked for more than half a year as a programmer in a non-famous software company in Qianyang. Tired of the drifting life in a foreign land, he returned home to study diligently and finally passed the civil service examination for the local court last year
As she turned the corner past an old building, unexpectedly, Tao Yan felt a strong pat on her shoulder, accompanied by a light, crisp laugh of surprise in her ear: "Hi, Gao Mingqiang..."
Later, Tao Yan learned that her name was Jiang Ying, a girl from Class 7 of the same grade, a little fellow who was muddled in life but diligent in her studies
The letter has no postmark; it was delivered by a female classmate with whom she is familiar
When you gaze, time resembles a tranquil lake, with floating duckweed drifting; when you turn your head, it hurriedly slips away, hurriedly. Time flows swiftly, acquaintance, understanding, love, in that youthful season, everything happens quite naturally, yet it also withers away just as naturally
I wish to return to the past, but my thoughts continuously obstruct the playback of memories
In Tao Yan's memory, during that period, everything felt muddled and unclear, as if even the sky had become heavy and colorless
The blind pursuit remains empty and hollow
On a sudden whim, I thought to come here to meet a few old friends and to see the ocean, which I have long heard of and admired in books, yet have never encountered in person
Perhaps at that time, he did not know what it meant to be in love.
A few people, as they talked, began to reminisce about the heavy snowfall in the winter of 2004. Several young men, bonded like brothers, penned their humble verses on the snow-covered riverbank: We will eventually grow old, those hexagonal snowflakes drifting in the wind / and the elms and willows by the river / please remember / that we were once together, ... sadness, laughter / on that year, that day, that snowy morning ...
Tao Yan's mind was filled with various reliable and unreliable pieces of information about Xiao Jiang from the well-informed individual, A Gui, as if steamed rice mixed with fermentation starter was slowly fermenting and expanding within him
The phone in my arms, with perfect and melodious sound quality, transmits songs through the white original earphones, soaring and drifting freely in my mind like the wind
* * * * * * * *
At that time, the sky was as clear as washed, and the brilliant sunlight was streaming down through the dense gaps of the pine needles, forming beams of light of varying thicknesses, illuminating the dust-laden shade of the forest, casting a glow on the face of the girl, whose delicate, jade-like complexion was adorned with a subtle rosy hue, and the fine down on her skin shimmered with a golden radiance
Postscript: The theme song of this chapter is "Back to the Past" by Jay Chou, 2002
The collective mindset of Tao Yan and others has become rigid
This trip was arranged because he had duty during the May Day holiday, which led to a subsequent extension of his time off. Although it was only a few days in total, with the current convenience of transportation, it is still possible to make a round trip to some place within the country. One day, while chatting in a QQ group with a few close high school classmates, the others, who were all in the south, mentioned that it had been a long time since they had seen each other.
Later, Tao Yan received a letter in which the girl softly expressed her feelings about parting. She mentioned that it is better to forget each other in the world than to cling to each other in mutual support, and that if fate allows, we may meet again in the rivers and lakes. Her words were very romantic, like those of others, elegant and serene, akin to the white tea flowers in a mountain stream, beautifully existing in their own right.
Indeed, indeed. A'gui nodded in agreement while swallowing his saliva
The music has ended, yet the people have dispersed. Tears flowed from Tao Yan's eyes; if only I could truly return to the past, how could I bear to let go of your hand.
In loneliness, one acts without restraint, lacking an understanding of the distinction between light and heavy
In fact, at that time, compared to the youthful sentiments of young people, the shadow of the college entrance examination seemed to be more mainstream, especially during the senior year, when the black June was a nightmare for every examinee. After passing through that period, Tao Yan suddenly remembered Xiao Jiang, only to find that she was already nowhere to be found
I wish to return to the past, to try to continue the story, at least to no longer let you leave me...
Like other peers, 16-year-old Tao Yan has just started his first year of high school. As the novelty of entering this prestigious environment begins to fade, the heavy academic workload and the competitive pressure from those around him come rushing in: attending classes, morning and evening self-study sessions, extra tutoring, quizzes, and tests... In the daily routine of moving between the classroom, cafeteria, and dormitory, his mind resembles a wound-up alarm clock, constantly reminding him of what he should be doing at each hour, ringing and ticking away the time.
Life sometimes becomes dull like this
In the following days, on the playground during morning exercises, in the corridors of the teaching building, and in the garden behind the experimental building, I saw her several times again—each time the girl would shyly blush and keep her distance from the library. She seemed embarrassed but did not know how to express it, which only added to Tao Yan's discomfort: I am not a little monster, so why do I make people avoid me?
Life sometimes brings surprises, but more often it is filled with the monotony of tedium
The first time Tao Yan met Xiao Jiang, he knew he had fallen in love.
The bright and clear big eyes blink innocently, the simple and lovely little face is exquisite and perfect, and the youthful ponytail is casually tied with a red cloth ribbon. This is a completely unfamiliar girl
This girl is truly not generous, said Lao Xiao
On a gray and hazy night, sleep seems to have vanished without a trace
Many years later, many memories fade slowly like yellowed old photographs. However, occasionally, whether gazing at the horizon or enjoying a quiet afternoon tea, Tao Yan still remembers that on a certain day in a certain month of a certain year, he turned around in surprise to see the girl from his memories, her delicate and lovely little face adorned with an awkward smile and a blush of shyness.
Young people always possess ample enthusiasm and drive, thinking that as work becomes busier in the future, they will no longer be able to indulge in such sentiments. Thus, they made plans with classmates, purchased train tickets, and on the eve of the holiday, took the train southward, heading towards the sea
The process in between, Tao Yan mostly remembers, though a small part has already been swept into the corners of memory. As for the breakup, was there even a breakup? Tao Yan only recalls an inexplicable argument before graduation, seemingly over some boy; her younger self was quite immature. After that, they simply stopped talking to each other
Your figure, slowly sinking as it loses balance
June 2012. China and the Southern Province of Books
On the intercity light rail train from Nanfang City to Jiangcheng, in the second carriage, seat 13, Tao Yan was squinting his eyes, listening to Jay Chou's old song "Back to the Past" from ten years ago on his newly purchased Apple phone
I do not remember which day it was, but it was a sunny noon. As usual, after finishing early classes, Tao Yan, holding a enamel lunch box, walked along the tree-lined path to the second cafeteria, surrounded by locust and pine trees, with a few familiar classmates. They discussed trivial topics or speculated about the cafeteria's menu—young people always possess an inexplicable joy and a hearty appetite.
The neighbor said that Xiao Jiang's father struck it rich panning for gold in Qingshanjie, and the whole family has moved to Qinghai.
Certainly, life is not a clock, and people cannot continuously revolve around a single point like the hands of a clock.
I am still missing you, Xiao Jiang
It always has its differences
Such attempts to retain may no longer be timely
The platform is over twenty meters above the ground. Tao Yan, following the flow of people, took the elevator down to the waiting hall on the first floor. As he looked up, he saw an old classmate, whom he hadn't seen in a long time, waving at him from the distant ticket gate
Pay attention to the dispersed time, this time we will hold tighter
When young people learn to gaze at the starry sky, they will discover that the densely twinkling heavens reflect their own emotions, which are in constant flux.
His mood instantly brightened, and he also waved vigorously, saying: "Lu Yan, I am coming! Jiangcheng, I am coming!"
With a turn, loneliness has already lain beside me, returning to the past
Still not fully aware, I turned my head and saw a girl in white.
Silence supports the leap over the unfamiliar, quietly watching the dawn of early morning and dusk